The older I become the more I sense the importance of “remembering to forget.” This may sound strange to those of us who are haunted by the fear of forgetting when we cannot remember names or dates, or where we put our glasses or car keys. We fear forgetting because we keep telling ourselves that forgetting is the first sign of growing old and possibly becoming a victim of dementia. We fear becoming a useless and undesirable person.
However, that’s not the kind of “forgetting” that I’m speaking about. I’m using the word “forget” as meaning “to let go.” And so to “remember to forget” is about the need to forgive fully and forever. Biblical wisdom admonishes us to forgive fully and forget (let go) forever the old wounds from our past; to forgive fully and forever those who caused us pain and anger.
From Jesus we hear, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25).
And from the apostle Paul, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32).
Old resentments and lingering bitterness must be discarded in order for us to enjoy a good life of health and peace as we grow older. It is the only doorway to experiencing God’s abundant life of divine forgiveness, peace and joy.
And likewise, we also need to “remember to forget” (forgive fully and forever) our own self for the failures, the regrets, and the wrong choices we made in life. There is no sense or gain in torturing ourselves with regrets and remorse over what might have been or with our failures.
Psychological research regarding health and religion continues to confirm that being a forgiving person is essential to good health and happiness. When someone wrongs you, the feeling of anger or hatred only causes your life to descend into stressful misery and resentment. You are the one who suffers, not the person with whom you are angry. In contrast, remembering to forgive and forget erases the resentment and relieves the stress.
Everett Worthington Jr., a professor at Virginia Commonwealth University and a pioneer in forgiveness research, has found that people who won’t forgive the wrongs committed against them tend to have negative indicators of health and well-being; that is, more stress-related disorders, lower immune-system function, and worse rates of cardiovascular disease than the population as a whole. In effect, he says, by failing to forgive, they punish themselves.
His research also suggests that unforgiving people experience higher rates of divorce, which reduces a person’s well-being, given that married men and women consistently do better on most health barometers, including longevity.
In contrast, Worthington’s research confirms that people who forgive have better health, fewer episodes of clinical depression, longer marriages and better “social support,” which suggest that forgiving people get along better with others, who in turn come to their aid in social-support situations.
When Jesus taught us to forgive those who sin against us, he was not just teaching holy living; but he was also giving us practical, down-to-earth advice on how to experience the abundant life, how to better enjoy the “golden years” of life.
The biblical Joseph had a lot of hurtful and bitter memories: the hatred and jealousy of his brothers, their treacherous betrayal, and their murderous act of selling him into Egypt. But he had learned the grace of forgiveness. He even named one of his sons “Manasseh” which means “God has made me forget.”
The apostle Paul also experienced much hardship, persecution and pain, and yet encourages us to live life as he does. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14).
Yes, all of us, would be well-advised to “remember to forget” by fully forgiving the hurts and failures of yesterday and forever remembering them no more. We need to turn these painful experiences and emotions over to God, who alone can help us forgive the situations, events, and persons that caused us pain, anger, and resentment. Look to Jesus, and let his peace of forgiveness give you a wonderful today of joy.
“Healing Rays of Righteousness” – June 5, 2019
http://www.geigler13.wordpress.com
Ray M. Geigley
Healing Rays of Righteousness 
Comments on: "Remembering To Forget" (2)
You are so right. We need to remember to forget. So many people are not willing to do that. Bless you
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Thanks for the affirmation. Much appreciated.
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