Should my relationship with you depend on whether or not you agree with me? No! My relationship with you should be rooted in fully accepting and respecting you, even though we may disagree on particular issues.
The reason so many friendships, churches, and communities are fractured and in trouble today is because we do not recognize the difference between agreement and acceptance. Behavioral studies show that much of our anxiety is caused by an egocentric, neurotic need to have others agree with us.
We also know that the dynamics of every healthy people grouping, whether it be church, community, or nation, includes lively disagreement. The “loyal opposition” is needed to keep us from getting too comfortable with our selfish, narrow, and off-times marred visions.
Also, to presume others need us to correct them, but that we do not need them to correct us is to assign to ourselves an omniscience that belongs only to Almighty God.
Regretfully, many Christians have been misled by the King James Version of Amos 3:3, which asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” They understand the prophet to be saying that any disagreement is detrimental to healthy relationship and community and thus, “no agreement, no relationship.” But that is not the meaning behind the original Hebrew.
The New International Version (NIV) better clarifies the original meaning as follows; “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? This more correctly suggests an agreement with neighbor to meet for a walk together. It is a commitment to a planned and scheduled activity together. In other words, I agree to walk with you because I accept and respect you regardless of our disagreements.
Dietrich Bonhoffer warned that “He who can no longer listen to his brother will soon no longer be listening to God, either.”
The image of the Christian life being a walk is firmly rooted in the New Testament teachings. The apostle Paul tells us Christians “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Eph. 5:1-2).
To the Christians in Rome, Paul says, “Love must be sincere.” (Rom. 12:1). And included in his list of loving behaviors is this admonition in verse 18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” He then concludes with this word, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (v.21).
These voices, as well as the whole of the New Testament, are telling us that to be Christian is to always be intentionally and fervently working to establish and nurture strong, loving relationships with others. This is our calling and mission.
For that reason, I am deeply troubled by what appears to be a serious drift by those who call themselves Christian, away from the biblical principles of “community by acceptance” and toward a more totalitarian view of “community by agreement” and it’s very low tolerance for disagreement. It is a kind of mentality that fixes its eyes on another with a cold look and says, “If you don’t agree with us, get out. Go somewhere else. You don’t belong here.”
The New Testament clearly teaches that the followers of Jesus will live a lifestyle built around LOVE. Sacrificial love is to be at the core of relationships with fellow believers, and also determines our attitude towards all people at all times.
I’m reminded of the story of a young man who stopped at a farmhouse asking for work. The farmer asked of his occupation, which was carpentry. At first the farmer said he had no work. Then, pointing across the road to the neighboring farm, he said, “That is where by brother lives and we have become bitter enemies. He even took a bulldozer and cut a stream from the reservoir through the pasture between us. I’ll hire you to take that lumber by the barn and build an eight-foot high solid fence between us, so that I don’t need to be looking at him.”
The farmer went to town for the day, and the young man went to work. When the farmer returned, instead of a fence, he saw a beautiful bridge across the stream, with handrails and all. At first he was angry, but then he saw his brother walking down the hill to the bridge with his arms outstretched. As he walked to meet him, his younger brother called out, “You are a special brother, to think that you would build a bridge so that we can get together!”
As the carpenter was walking away, the farmer called, “Hey, where are you going?” The man answered, “I’m going to build other bridges!”
O church, community, and nation, we call ourselves Christian, so let’s walk our talk. Let us love, accept, and walk together with all people, respectfully listening to the “loyal opposition” toward seeking common ground and guidance in making a better world for all of us. AMEN!
“Healing Rays of Righteousness” – August 7, 2019
Ray M. Geigley
Healing Rays of Righteousness 
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