Many of us have a painful past to live with; a past that we can neither escape nor change. For many the painful memories are so powerful that their recall brings deep pain to the present. Feelings of inferiority, unfairness, and anger surface. Long forgotten fears once again grab a choke-hold on our life. The past haunts them.
The story of Joseph is a proven model of how to best respond to a painful past that brings healing of mind, spirit, and relationships. That story begins in Genesis 37.
Joseph, the favorite son of his father Jacob, experienced a very painful past. He was raised in what we would today call a “dysfunctional family.” Sibling rivalry filled Jacob’s household. Favoritism abounded and jealousy infected brotherly relationships.
It became so bad that one day Joseph’s brothers caught him, threw him into a pit, and discussed killing him. One brother intervened and convinced the rest to instead sell Joseph as a slave to traders headed toward Egypt.
In Egypt, Joseph became the property of a man named Potiphar. Things seemed to be going better for Joseph. But then, Potiphar’s wife made continual sexual advances toward him. Frustrated by Joseph’s refusal, she falsely charged him with attempted rape and he was imprisoned.
Years later, the Pharaoh had a dream that no one but Joseph could interpret. The dream revealed that Egypt would experience seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine.
To reward Joseph for interpreting the dream, the Pharaoh gave Joseph charge over all of the agricultural activity in Egypt. The years of plenty came and Joseph stored up the abundance of grain for the future survival of Egypt. Seven years later the drought and famine began.
The drought and famine became so widespread and severe that people in neighboring countries came to Egypt to buy food from Joseph. And it wasn’t long before Joseph’s own brothers arrived to buy food. Joseph recognized them, but they no longer knew their own brother. Joseph sold them the grain they requested, but he also tricked them into coming back to him several times, before he revealed his true identity.
Read Genesis 45:1-15
When he did identify himself as their brother, they were terrified. They remembered the pit and the time they bartered with traders and sold their own brother into slavery. They had every reason to be terrified when Joseph says to them in verses 4-5, “Come close to me. …I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.”
Joseph was able to make peace with his painful past and experience healing of mind and heart by choosing the following three responses of belief and behavior.
- Joseph Practiced Forgiveness
Joseph had been wronged, not only by his brothers but also by Potiphar’s wife and the forgetful cupbearer. Joseph could have struck back and felt the exhilaration that comes from getting even. Instead, Joseph chose to forgive. That’s the first step toward any healing of the past.
Rather than reaching out in anger and revenge, he embraced his brothers. By choosing to forgive, Joseph made reconciliation with his family possible.
Forgiveness, while not the easiest of options, is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the removes the handcuffs of hatred. Forgiveness breaks the chains of bitterness and shatters the shackles of selfish retaliation. Forgiveness frees the heart to enjoy life to its fullest.
- Joseph Chose to Live in the Present
Joseph chooses not to be imprisoned by the bitterness of his past, but instead, to live in the present with his eyes focused on the future as evident in verses 9 through 11.
Making peace with your past always includes choosing to let go of yesterday and live for today and tomorrow. Recalling and reliving the sorrows and pains of yesterday does nothing but rob us of the possibility to experience the wonders and beauty of the present.
- Joseph Saw the Hand of God At Work in His Life
Joseph’s ability to forgive his brothers was a result of his understanding of God, and of God’s greater purpose in the painful events of his life. Joseph came to realize that God, not his brothers, determined what Joseph would become. Joseph believed that through all his painful experiences, God was preparing and molding him to become the person God needed him to be.
Three times in this chapter (vss. 5,7,8), Joseph declares his belief that God’s purpose, not their evil intention, brought him to Egypt. And he repeatedly assured his brothers that he was not angry and asked them to forgive themselves.
Like Joseph, the apostle Paul came to understand the way God uses adversity and pain. He wrote in Romans 8:28 – “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”
Our difficult and painful experiences often become God’s classroom of learning how to trust God and how to forgive others. Those of us who have been there, who have journeyed through the valley of painful events, who have suffered much but chose to forgive the past, can now look back and attest to God’s leading, providing, shaping, healing, and calling us into a larger life and ministry. I know because I’ve been there and done that.
“Healing Rays of Righteousness” – February 20, 2019
Healing Rays of Righteousness 
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